While the PGMOL continued to struggle on where to draw the line on VAR, it was also a slow start for FPL Managers, particularly those thinking they were onto a Shaw thing by benching United defenders. Haaland triple-captainers were probably also wishing that there was a Mulligan Chip, but we play the full 180 minutes in this league, and the final 10 minutes made all the difference (sorry Boris). Back in the real world, the battle for SKLW glory rages on, and with six games to go, it’s time to get those elbows out.
RESULTS – JULES LEAGUE
MARADONNA KEBAB 2-1 QATAR HEROES
Qatar Heroes needed the win, but it was the Maradonnas who sizzled to a third successive victory courtesy of a stunning strike from Andy Martin (101 pts) and a narrow victory in the Squad match thanks to hauls from FPL Timbers (95 pts) and James Twiddy (94 pts). @Mad4FPL reduced the deficit for the Qatars, but planning for the ticker tape parade is very much on hold.
PETR CECH YOURSELF 3-1 KING OTTO’S GRECIANS
The Cechs checked a two-game losing streak to get their Champions League campaign back on track against the ailing Ottos. FPL Naked Eye Guy showed promising flashes for the Cechs, but it was FPL Mihir’s brace that really caught the eye. Alastair Cowper pulled one back, but the two-goal advantage was restored in the Squad match thanks to @fpl_timmy (95 pts).
FONTAINE OF KNOWLEDGE 2-1 HAND OF ZOFF
Two teams in form and looking to confirm their Champions League credentials; however, it was the Fontaines who had the know-how to keep the Zoffs at bay. The damage was done in the H2Hs, with @FPLHaggis and @TomFPL both notching, and Moore FPL (90 pts) giving the Zoffs a masterclass on goalkeeping. The Zoffs did reduce the deficit in the Squad match, but with fplbinary (98 pts) and Coops (90 pts) on the case, it was never going to be enough.
A. WENGER’S ENDGAME 2-2 KHAN YOU FEEL THE LÖW TONIGHT?
The Wengers were in Happy Valley going into the final match of the gameweek, but ran into a cruel plot twist that saw the Löws soar to snatch a point. There was little sign of the drama to come as FPL Gato and Sonaldo struck early for the Wengers; and Teddy’s response looked to be a consolation, but the Löws’ Khan-do attitude, led by Fantasy Scout 11 (95 pts), was the stuff of dreams. Fledgling (93 pts) was left wondering what you have to do to get a happy ending.
IT’S A WONDERFUL CRUYFF 4-0 NOT THAT EASY FERGUSO
In a mighty basement battle, the Cruyffs maintained their wonderful recent run to see off the Fergusos. There was nothing easy about this match-up, and the Fergusos were ahead going into the final game, but the Cruyffs turned it round thanks to a strike from Schmarn, a clean sheet from Peter Richards, and a commanding performance, led by Kamalrosdi (95 pts) and Milkman Bruno (91 pts), in the Squad match.
NEYMAR-LESS ONES 2-1 RUUD, WHERE’S MY KAHN?
The pacesetters maintained their imperious form, but they needed strikes from FPLFella and Appelsinjuss, plus a clean sheet from Nick #FPL to steal the points. The Kahns were looking to maintain their challenge for the Top Eight, and fought back in the Squad match, with Fpl2guys1Cup (95 pts) and FPL Buddy (93 pts) showing the way; but the Neymar-less held on thanks to Frankwalsh (93 pts) and Stevebrown37 (92 pts).
CAFU GOOD MEN 0-5 SHEIKH’S DAYLIGHT ‘RIBERY’
It was Saints v Sinners, or the good versus the bad, but either way, crime paid in this match-up as the Sheikhs shook the Cafus. Rozzer (94 pts) avoided the Rozzers to open the scoring, and Tom Freeman had the best defence team in town; but the real pilfering occurred in the Squad match, with Leigh (102 pts) and Sibasis Pal Chowdhury (96 pts) bagging most of the swag.
I GERD MÜLLER A PINT 4-0 SHEIKH, BLATTER AND RAUL
The Müllers have been mullering more than the ale lately, and the Sheikhs were unable to hang on for last orders. Umberto got the fun started; Fpl_FOMO (103 pts) made sure that he didn’t miss out on his clean sheet; and the binge drinking continued in the Squad match, with FF_Thinker (95 pts), Billy Bremner (93 pts) and Dan mckenna (92 pts) setting the pace.
NO KOEMAN NO CRY 0-4 MURDER ON ZIDANE’S FLOOR
After six successive losses, the Koeman already have plenty to cry about, and a visit from the cuddly Zidanes is just what’s needed when you’ve already hit rock bottom. The Zidanes came ready to dance, with GreenDragon (107 pts), ably partnered by Fpl_Jaafar (91 pts), turning up the heat in the Squad match, and FPLNormalOne cleaned up in the H2Hs. Nikolasw81 provided the encore with a late strike.
SWEET 2FA 2-2 SILENCE OF THE LAHMS
There wasn’t much to shout about as two lower-half teams played nicely, and were happy to share the points. Sweet 2FA did get it going in the H2Hs, with FPLHaul and Gio Alarcon doing what it says on the tin, and FPL Planner (95 pts) having designs on a clean sheet; but the Lahms sprang back in the Squad match thanks to FPL Trader (95 pts), FPL Quinner (94 pts), @jake_conod15 (91 pts), and Noah (90 pts).
CAMEROON DIAZ 3-0 NETO THAT HAULAND
The Netos are the top haulers across both leagues, and had outscored Cameroon Diaz by more than 500 points, but this one didn’t follow the script. Riddermorten (98 pts) performed heroics in goal; Spatburgunder bundled one in; and the Cameroons kept the action going in the Squad match, with FrohikeFPL and Aari (both 92 pts) doing most to catch the eye. The Haulands failed to live up to their billing, with only @FPL_Penguin1 (92 pts) making a splash, but they’ll still be the team to avoid in the playoffs.
KLOSE THAN EVER 3-2 FABIO CANNAVARIANCE
Both teams needed to get a wiggle on, and it was Klose Than Ever who closed the variance over the Fabios with a narrow victory. The Fabios made a bright start, with FPL Echidna (101 pts) keeping FPL GOAT (95 pts) at bay, and Jack and Hedgehog_FPL opened up a two-goal lead; but they couldn’t keep it close in the Squad match, where @AtifSayed_09 (106 pts), Zeeshan (98 pts), and Rebant Malhotra combined for a three-goal burst. Klose could even afford to leave Magnus Carlsen’s 105-point haul on the bench.
JULES LEAGUE TABLE
The Neymar-less Ones continue to set the standard, but I Gerd Müller a Pint are now leading the chase, with Cafu Good Men dropping to 3rd, and Neto That Hauland a further two-points back. The remaining Top Eight slots are filled by Fontaine of Knowledge (32 pts), A. Wenger’s Endgame (31 pts), Murder on Zidanes’s Floor (29 pts), and Petr Cech Yourself (28 pts), but there’s still plenty to play for. No Koeman No Cry remain rooted at the bottom, but have Not That Easy Ferguso in their sights.
RESULTS – RIMET LEAGUE
BAGGIO TROUSERS 2-0 VUVU ZIZOU
It was a belt and braces job for Baggio Trousers against the basement dwelling Zizous. Gnu knew he was destined to score; Blue Knight (99 pts) made sure that Lateriser (99pts) overslept; and a workmanlike performance in the Squad match ensured that the points were bagged for the Baggios.
LUCIÓ AND THE VIKING SEAMAN 3-1 FANGS OF SUAREZ
The contending Fangs of Suarez were all at sea against the Viking Seaman. With Pingreen eyeing golden boot treasure, and The FPL Hangover Podcast also getting in on the act, the Fangs were always struggling to hit the right vein. krakenFPL did offer some resistance, but it was the Vikings who were splicing the mainbrace in the Squad match thanks to Jøssy (95 pts), Flapjack (94 pts), and Sam Martin (90 pts).
WERNER BROS 2-4 SON OF A GUN
Werner Bros looked to have this one sewn up, with Sumit (97 pts) hitting the heights with a brace, and Sherif Gabr bossing it for another; but the Young Guns reloaded, with FPL Dragon (99 pts) snorting for a brace, and Frenchy FPL chipping in to put the Gunners in front. The shoot-out continued in the Squad match, with FPL SWOT and FPL Fidget (both 95 pts) being quickest on the draw to confirm a victory for youth.
GENTLEMAN’S GREALISH 6-0 PJANIC AT THE DISCO
Gentleman’s Grealish brought their A-Game to secure a fourth successive win, and stroll into the Champions League berths at the Pjanic’s expense. The damage was done in the H2Hs, with FPL Noble Gent (93 pts) and Dale (105 pts) combining for five goals, and FPL A + getting a distinction between the sticks. The lily was gilded in the Squad match thanks to Iain MacBean (100 pts).
WEAH ROBBEN BANKS 5-0 NUSANTARA GAUCHOS
The Weahs deposited their Champions League rivals in style thanks to strikes from Dave Datsun and Johnny Rev7; the steely determination of Krul Intentions (99 pts) in goal; and hauls from Rasping Drive (103 pts) and Ameenkw (95 pts) in the Squad match. The Gauchos had no answer, but @Nebalion (97 pts) must be wondering how he failed to get on the scoresheet.
BRITNEY’S QATAR POUNDER WITH GREAVES 0-2 ONE TCHOUAMENI
Oh dear. Greavsie was still playing the last time the Britneys won a game, and at this rate they won’t even get a chance to repeat their ‘Greyhead’ Cup of Glory adventures. No such problem for One Tchouameni, who joined the huddle vying for Top Eight slots. FPL Transfer Tips sealed the deal in goal, and Ahsan J Noushad ghosted in for a strike, which was matched by a workmanlike performance in the Squad match.
BANYANA – BAFANA 1-6 SHEARER’S BUNCH OF FLOWERS
The Florists won’t give up their title without a fight, and they’re hanging in there after dispatching the high-flying Banyanas-Bafanas. Danelius and riot stirred it up in the H2Hs, but it was carnage in the Squad match thanks to Wight Bear (103 pts), Josserz (98 pts), and Mreidfelt (96 pts). The Banyana’s only consolation was a strike from Zaheer Bayant (97 pts), but there’s always next week.
CASH BANDICOOT 6-3 UNBELIEVABLE GEOFF
The Bandicoots cashed in against the low-flying Geoffs to keep their Champions League hopes alive. The Geoffs did show signs of life in the H2Hs, with a strike from Haggis, and a brace from Wolverine, but that was avenged by @FPL_KLOPP (91 pts) and FPL Abinash; and it was one-way traffic in the Squad match, thanks to Nurudeen Matulab (102 pts), Zapster (96 pts), AndyChatsFPL (95 pts), Arpit Jain and FPL Polar Bear (both 94 pts).
GARUDA IN COUPE DE MONDE 38 1-3 SEVENS!
The Sevens continue to show sporadic flashes of form, and put a spanner into the Garuda’s Top Eight aspirations. Big Softie (108 pts) got a big haul for the Garudas, but was constrained to a single goal, and while Tom Stephenson kept the Sevens strikers at bay, it was seventh heaven in the Squad match, where Vishnu Rajesh (99 pts) and Saksham (95 pts) opened up a winning lead.
FC ZLATAN IBRA-HAMSTER-VIC 0-3 NETFLIX AND CHILWELL
The Hamsters stumbled again, and it’s starting to get interesting at the top. MoSalah FPL capped his goal in the Merseyside derby with a clean sheet for Netflix and Chilwell, and a strike from FplToni got the hamster hunt started. FPL Vuleeee (96 pts) and Marsalito (95 pts) kept up the chase in the Squad match, and FPL_RJD’s century was scant consolation for the league leaders.
MERCEDES BENZEMA 1-1 SHELBY COMPANY LIMITED
The Benzemas squandered an opportunity to make ground on their basement rivals, and in the end will probably be relieved to come away with a point. In a low scoring match, FPL Kante (91 pts) must have hoped to get on the scoresheet, but #FPL Circle (104 pts) put paid to that, and it was FPL Solomons (90 pts) who put the Shelbys in front. There was little to write home about in the Squad match, but the Benzemas did enough to restore parity.
RYAN’S RONALDOS 2-4 HURRIKANE’S MEAN SON THREE LIONS
The Ronaldos made a bright start thanks to a brace from Pras (99 pts), and a cleanie from Chris Wilder in the H2Hs; but they were blown away in the Squad match, with Amrabatman (95 pts) and FPL Abra (90 pts) being particularly mean. That’s four wins in a row for the HurriKanes, who are now serious contenders for a Champions League berth.
RIMET LEAGUE TABLE
Zlatan Ibra-hamster-vic (35 pts) still lead the way, but with two successive losses they are fast becoming an endangered species. There is no shortage of hunters: Fangs of Suarez are two-points adrift and thirsting for blood; Banyana-Bafana and Son of a Gun are tied on 32 points; and Netflix and Chilwell (31 pts) are streaming through in 5th place. Weah Robben Banks (30 pts) have also stolen into contention; but Nasuntara Gauchos (29 pts) need to get back on the horse. A further five teams are tied on 28 points for the final Champions League slot. It’s much more civilised at the bottom, where Vuvu Zizou (11 pts) are in a league of their own, so, the real challenge is whether Mercedes Benzema (17 pts) can claw their way back into daylight.
PLAYERS OF THE WEEK
There was plenty of treasure to be had for astute FPL Managers; however, Magnus Carlsen’s 105-point haul was left to languish on the bench. No such worries for Dale (105 pts), @AtifSayed_09 (106 pts), and GreenDragon (107 pts), who were all instrumental in their teams’ victories; however, Big Softie’s 108-point haul was in a losing cause, but at least there’s the consolation of being this week’s top scorer. Billy Bremner (1234 pts) returns to the summit as top overall SKLW points scorer, with Zikry trailing on 1231 points, and Boris Bedega (1227 pts) in 3rd place.
In the Golden Boot race, Pingreen’s latest strike raises his haul to 13 goals, while FF_Thinker remains on 10, and FPL Noble Gent and FplToni join Mark Mansfield, Rodney McCain, and Mreidfelt on eight. Chayuth Wongthongsri is still the one to beat between the sticks with 19 clean sheets, with PG (trailing on 16, and Jon Ballantyne and Libero FPL tied on 12.
Well done all.
MATCHDAY 19 FIXTURES
Jules League
The Neymar-less Ones will be looking to dampen spirits when they visit Khan you feel the Löw tonight, but they’ll be mindful of the Löw’s recent good form. The match-up between Ruud, Where’s My Kahn and I Gerd Müller a Pint should be a real barnstormer; and Cafu Good Men have a winnable fixture against Not that easy Ferguso, but we’ve heard that one before. No Koeman No Cry will be looking to snap their losing streak on the road against Sheikh’s Daylight ‘Ribery’.
Rimet League
Unbelievable Geoff picked a good week to take on Zlatan Ibra-hamster-vic; Fangs of Suarez will relish the visit of Gentleman’s Grealish; and expect fireworks when Banyana-Bafana get it on against Nasuntara Gauchos. At the bottom, it won’t be a breeze when VuVu Zizou run into Lució and the Viking Seaman.
The full fixture list, and all the SKLW performance data you need to scout your next opponents, is available via SKLW Scores 22/23; and you can experience the slings and arrows of the gameweek in real time by accessing Livescores by TopMarx.
I’m off to buy Lee Mason a new ruler. Stay safe.