Strikers Keepers Losers Weepers: MD5 – Beware The Hamsters

There is a disturbance in the FPL Force as a once overlooked and heavily mocked evil presence is growing in strength – that’s right the Hamsters are striking back! Let this greying old fool warn you of the dangers that these furballs present, plus also tell you all about the highs and lows from the most recent round of Strikers Keepers Losers Weepers matches.

Away from the impending threat of a Hamster Armageddon, Match Day 5 also saw a couple of teams get their first points of the season – well done Qatar Heroes and team 7,7,7,7,7,7 plus we also saw the continued success story of Cafu Good Men, Neto that Hauland and Banyana-Bafanana.

All this plus some bloke called Boris did quite well, which I am contractually obliged to tell you about

RESULTS – JULES LEAGUE

And away we go with results from the Jules League!

QATAR HEROES 2-1 CAMEROON DIAZ

Up first was the victory that the Qatar Heroes have been waiting for, as they won 2-1 against the always easy on the eye Cameroon Diaz. The heroes conceded one due to an inferior squad tally, but FPL Ron Manager will be delighted with his striker selection as both FPLShakil and QPRCaribbean scored the winning goals to see them triumph.

The Heroes celebrated in some style with a Beatles singalong before they were told to get back to training by their team captain, let’s hope they come together for further wins in this long and winding road of a competition.

SWEET 2FA 2-2 KLOSE THAN EVER

Klose than ever are fast becoming the draw specialists with their second in as many games, they obviously like to keep it, well, close. Goals from FPLJim and TylerFPL gave Sweet 2FA a secure start but a decent squad score and then a captain’s goal and showman performance from Zeesham meant both sides ended up with a point a piece.

NO KOEMAN NO CRY 1-5 FABIO CANNAVARIANCE

FPL Spaceman and his XG rockets soared to victory with a stunning performance which saw them with the highest squad score (678) of the week, queen cola and FPL student also scored to leave even No Koeman No Cry shedding a small tear.  The one consolidation for them was that at least Mark Mansfield kept up his scoring ways, notching his fourth goal of the season for the team.

I GERD MULLER A PINT 0-3 NETO THAT HAULAND

This looked a tricky game for FPL Lens and his Haulanders, but they called time at the German bar for I Gerd Muller a Pint with a convincing 3-0 win. LiberoFPL kept a clean sheet, Zikry and El Statto scored before the squad finished the job, they had a couple of managers with hauls in the 70s, FPLSabic and FPL Pup giving a strong performance. They are joint top of the table and remain undefeated in the tournament.

CAFU GOOD MEN 3-1 SILENCE OF THE LAHMS

Joining Neto that Hauland at the pinnacle of the standings are Cafu Good Men, who continue to make a mockery of their rookie status. David Squires scored a goal and team captain Kapil Ramcharan kept a clean sheet for sheep-ish Lahms, however they were left to feel baaaaa-d by another dominant Cafu Good Men squad performance. FPL Harry, who was their marquee MVP signing continues to live up to his price tag with another great and good week.

THE NEYMAR-LESS ONES 3-0 MURDER ON ZIDANE’S FLOOR

Nima’s Neymar-Less Ones are having an up and down season, after two losses on the trot they faced the in-form, undefeated disco inferno that was Murder on Zidane’s Floor, yet they dispatched them from the dance off with ease. Nick #FPL and FPL Editor threw some shapes down the club with a goal apiece before the rest of the squad joined in, led by the dancing queen herself Linn as they conga’d their way to three points.

IT’S A WONDERFUL CRYUFF 1-2 SHEIKH, BLATTER AND RAUL

Talking of rock n rollercoaster form Sheikh, Blatter and Raul continued their win, loss, win, loss pattern with victory this time round in a tense match. Cruyff’s goalkeeper Badgevilla didn’t deserve to finish on the losing side with a fine performance between the sticks with an FPL score of 71, but AutoPick’s analytical army came back with a good showing in the squad score to edge this one, Sean’s score of 78 is worth a nod of acknowledgment.

A.WENGER’S ENDGAME 3-0 SHEIKH’S DAYLIGHT RIBERY

A Marvellous performance from the Tournament’s avengers who assembled the largest squad score of the week with 685, their superhero performers included FPL Gato, Jozef_Melvin and a very happy Sonaldo who had the inevitable hat-trick from Son Heung-min to thank for his display of power.

FONTAINE OF KNOWLEDGE 0-2 RUUD, WHERE’S MY KAHN

FPL Panda found the right vehicle to drive him to success in Match Day 5 as a combination of a David Strom clean sheet, a goal from Clean Sheet Wipeout and a solid squad performance left FPL Binary and his team searching for the wisdom of the watering hole.

PETR CECH YOURSELF 3-0 NOT THAT EASY FERGUSO

It looks like FPL Mihir has woken up his bunch of tactile self-inspectors as they felt their way to a second win on the bounce. Yossi and FPL Psycho both scored however it came down to a battle of the squad scores with the team captain’s 77 points leading Petr Cech Yourself to success, however xxLaugh_ and Muhammad Nur Halim will be wondering what more they have to do as they both scored in the 80s.

MARADONA KEBAB 1-0 KAHN YOU FEEL THE LOW TONIGHT

Shish! The Kebabs have only gone and done it, as they takeaway a win from this game. It was a tense game with FPL Dread the true Lion King, making save after save from the Elton John Tribute Tournament Team, leaving the squad score to just edge it for the questionable meat Maradonas.

KING OTTO’S GRECIANS 0-4 HAND OF ZOFF

The regal team of King Otto’s Grecians still await their first points of the season, and it was a royal rumble of a performance from the opposing Italian inspired handymen, AJ and FPL Spartan both scored before the rest of the Zoffians added to a convincing victory.

LEAGUE TABLE – JULES

What does that mean in terms of the standings? Well, we now have just two sharing top spot with Cafu Good Men and Neto that Hauland battling it out at the summit, Fabio Cannavariance lurk just behind them with their undefeated streak intact.

RESULTS – RIMET LEAGUE

VUVU ZIZOU 1-2 MERCEDES BENZEMA

After difficulty starting, Mercedes Benzema are now accelerating into the tournament nicely with their second win in a row, RouletteFPL saves kept it to just 1 goal from the Zizou strike force even though Athletic Timbo’s 79 gave every one the horn.

ElFozzie scored one in return before the rest of the Mercedes squad did the business with shinigamixi123 and RoyGooner hitting very efficient FPL scores in the 70s.

ZLATAN IBRA-HAMSTER-VIC 4-2 RYAN’S RONALDOS

Oh dear! Boris is going to have his gloating pants on next time we meet on the podcast as his Free Hit saw him to man of the match performance with a two-goal brace.

Vobinho joined in the fun for the furrballs before Mikx_gg and FPL Kaiser 5 scored 1 each in return, however the Hamster squad had enough in them to see it over the line.

That’s four wins in a row for the scampering vermin, anyone know the number for pest control?

GARUDA IN COUPE DE MONDE 38 1-0 HURRIKANE’S MEAN SON’S THREE LIONS

Nope, no idea what either team name means but what I do know is that this was a tense, edgy encounter with it all coming down to the squad score. Just ten points decided it, with fplkopi’s score of 73 the pick of the managers from Garuda in Coupe de Monde.

CASH BANDICOTT FC 1-0 SHELBY COMPANY LTD

You think that was close, well this was closer as it came down to just 7 points difference in squad score. Both teams came into the match without a win and the opposing goalkeepers Zophar and FPL Polar Bear kept it clean in the head to heads, so it was left to the squad score with the monied marsupials winning the day.

BANYANA – BAFANA 1-0 NETFLIX AND CHILWELL

The Springbok aligned Community Team kept their extraordinary run going and now sit alone at the top of the table following this victory. Again, both keepers performed well with Jon Ballantyne and Ad the super shot stoppers this time, then it came down to the rest of the squad with FPL Linz 75 a key contributor to LegendFPL and his legion’s triumph.

BRITNEY’S QATAR POUNDER WITH GREAVES 2-2 SEVEN! SEVEN! SEVEN! ETC

Burger me! I didn’t see this coming. The Pop Princess’s fast food wasn’t enough to fill up the multiple sevens as we settled on a draw. Ktk_interista and Jay scored with some excitable numbers, however a decent squad performance was enough to bring us level and we’ve all agreed that Perisic was a very silly boy getting booked from the bench as this cost us vital points.

WEAH ROBBEN BANKS 4-1 UNBELIEVABLE GEOFF

Two experienced Community Tournament teams battled it out in this one, with a standout performance from Park the Bus as he did anything but with a two-goal striking performance fuelled by his 88 FPL points. Phil Dagger got one back for Unbelievable Geoff but then rest of the Bank Robbers stole away with the win – kudos amidst all this to former captain Tets McGee who scored 80 points.

GENTLEMAN’S GREALISH 3-0 SHEARER’S BUNCH OF FLOWERS

The former champs, the Flowers, are having a slow start to the competition, the opposite can be said of newcomers Gentleman’s Grealish. FPL Noble Gent scored again to cement his place as the Community Tournament equivalent of Haaland and FPL Focal gave the Gentleman another clean sheet to highlight his credentials for the Golden Glove.

WERNER BROS 0-3 ONE TCHOUAMENI

Werner Bros were unlucky here as they faced a team who not one, not two but three too many goals for them in this encounter. One Tchouameni had the second highest squad score of the week, with Ragav a star performer, their victory was assured when Adam Hopcroft, FPL National joined in the fun with a couple of goals.

LUCIO AND THE VIKING SEAMAN 2-0 NUSANTARA GAUCHOS

The Viking Seaman produced another barbaric performance, and the Gauchos could not handle the invasion of analytical ace Pingreen as he scored, ably supported by the rest of the squad to make this a comfortable 2-0 win.

BAGGIO TROUSERS 1-1 PJANIC AT THE DISCO

Madness to think it but Baggio Trousers are unbeaten in three, Snazzy Viking pillaged a goal in some style before the distressed dancers composed themselves for a least a moment scoring a squad goal in return to make this an honourable draw.

FANGS OF SUAREZ 0-5 KLINSMANN – FPL SECRET SERVICE

License to thrill this week for those double O FPL agents as they secured a thumping victory, Bullet and Pep Talk (again!?) scored a goal apiece before the rest of the squad finished off a toothless looking Fangs of Suarez.

LEAGUE TABLE – RIMET

A quick look at the table shows us that Banyana – Bafana remain undefeated and retain no.1 spot in the rankings, yet they should remain vigilant as the Gentlemen, the Hamsters and the Vikings (sounds like a weird party) sit just one point behind them.

PLAYERS OF THE WEEK AND TOP STRIKERS/KEEPERS

Do I have to? Really? Can’t someone else announce the winner of the player of the week? Really? It’s in my terms and conditions… ok then, the player of the week is some bloke called Boris Bodega with 91 points. Eurgh. Anyway, whilst I recover from that, worth highlighting some other great performances from Park the Bus with 2 goals and 88 points plus a couple of Feguso’s Muhammad Nur Halim and xxlaugh_ also in the eighties. Well done to you all – even Boris!

In terms of the top strikers and keepers in the tournament, well FPL Noble Gent and Mark Mansfield appear to be duking it out for the golden boot while FPL Focal and Umberto are arguing over the golden gloves. Thankfully Billy Bremner leeds the way in the overall top point scorer race over Boris.

COMING UP

Here are the fixtures for the weekend and plenty to look forward to with last year’s league champions Sheikh, Blatter and Raul facing this year’s league leaders Cafu Good Men in the Jules division, elsewhere Neto that Hauland will be hoping to keep their good run going against Sweet 2FA and the Hand of Zoff versus Petr Cech Yourself will be a good match up.

In the Rimet League, the big game is the Qatar Pounders taking on last year’s Champions League winners Shearer’s Bunch of Flowers but also look out for Pras vs Lateriser as Vuvu Zizou take on Ryan’s Ronaldos and the clash between top teams on hot form with Lucio and the Viking Seaman taking on Klinsmann Secret Service.

Hungry for more? Boris and Greyhead continue their quest for glitch-free live streaming, and their next one will be live at 7pm Wednesday 28th September and can be seen here.

To keep tabs on the live matchweek scores, click on this link.

For league tables, you can catch up via this link.