It’s been a week of speculation, hits, and Wildcards as FPL managers fret over a plethora of injury concerns and economical transparency at press conferences. Armband dilemmas were also a thing this week, and it looks set to continue with the Big Man matching his unfeasibly low xG after Mo feasted on the South Coast; but it was those who kept faith with Sterling that got the biggest return. It was a quieter week for VAR, but the on-field referees were quick to pick up the slack.
In the SKLW multiverse, the competition is also hotting up as teams look to build some momentum going into the international break or, for some of our better-resourced and higher-profile teams, simply get some points on the board. Here’s how it all unfolded on Matchday 5.
EL SIN NOMBRE 1-2 CAFU GOOD MEN
The Goodies prevailed to secure their first win in Bandit country and cast El Sin Nombre into mid-table obscurity. It was a goal apiece in the H2Hs, but the honours went to the Cafus in the Squad match thanks to @TrophyFpl (71 pts).
WAN FLEW OVER THE NKUNKU’S NEST 2-1 GERD MÜLLER A PINT
The Nkunkus are now nesting in joint-second after downing the Müllers during Last Orders. It was Steiners all round in the H2Hs thanks to a strike from @Mulligandfs, and a clean sheet from @dmckenna89 (73 pts); but the lunatics took over in the Squad match, with @savladevang (72) excelling in group therapy.
OPPENHAMSTER 0-2 NETFLIX AND CHILWELL
Netflix and Chilwell secured the rights to this match-up and dispatched the Furry Boffins to deliver their first Box Office success. @fpl_flair dazzled with a clean sheet, and @cazzaFPL opened his account for Netflix; and the Extras sealed the deal in the Squad match.
SPEARSMINT DINO 2-1 FONTAINE OF KNOWLEDGE
It was a victory for oral hygiene as the Spearsmints brushed off the challenge of a Fontaine team who will need all their know-how to climb out the cellar. It was a good start for the Fontaines in the H2Hs with a tasty return by @Fpl_Potnoodle, and a cleanie from @Fplbinary (72 pts); but the Spearsmints sparkled in the Squad match, with Gnar_tweets (78) doing most to attract followers.
SON OF A GÜN 1-4 SHEIKH, BLATTER AND RAUL
The Sheikhs are on a roll after blattering the Sons in their own gunnery. The damage was done in the H2Hs where @FPL_Jan kept it clean, and @FPL Jeb and @sertalpbilal struck braces. The Sons reduced the deficit in the Squad match, but ran out of ammo.
BANYANA BAFANA 2-3 FABIO CANNAVARIANCE
The Fabios leapfrogged the defending champions with a comeback performance on the road. The strikers exchanged goals in the H2Hs, and @FPL_FrodoB (70 pts) set the standard for Banyana Bafana in the Squad match; but @FPL_Spaceman (71) had other ideas and his wraiths soared to secure a narrow victory for the Fabios.
FC HA LA LAND 1-2 PANDA EXPRESS CDF
It was no laughing matter for FC Ha La Land as they blew their chance to go top. There was no hint of the drama to come with @shyam_kumar excelling between the sticks, and Aron Pickering breaching the Panda defence in the H2Hs, and @fantasyaddict10 (73 pts) setting the standard in the Squad match; but then the dream became a nightmare as the Pandas responded with a consistent string of solid performances which was just enough to turn the tables.
ONANAS IN PYJAMAS 0-1 KAHN YOU FEEL THE LÖW TONIGHT
The Onanas slept in while the Kahns rose to the challenge to secure their second victory. There was no need to change the linen in the H2Hs, where both @Alchim1sT (72 pts) and @FFSout_Joe (73) excelled; but the Onanas were caught napping in the Squad match, where Animesh Khare (71) did most to get the Kahns on the Löw train. It might have been different if the Onanas hadn’t left @sherifgabr777’s 76 points to snooze on the bench.
NO FUCHS GIVEN 5-3 NUSANTARA GAUCHOS
At last, a bonkers game from two teams that laugh in the face of convention. Six goals were shared in the H2Hs, with braces from @FPLOsama and @wide_playmaker; but it was all business for No Fuchs in the Squad match, and who can blame the Gauchos for flinching when faced with @PsychoFPL.
ONE TCHOUAMENI 1-0 CAMEROON DIAZ
It was an eponymic result for One Tchouameni, and yet more heartbreak for the Cameroons. @Chev_Luck (73 pts) did just enough to keep it clean in the H2Hs; and @ragavthetwist (83) twisted the knife in the Squad match to snatch a narrow victory for One Tchouameni.
HAND OF ZOFF 0-3 MURDER ON ZIDANE’S FLOOR
The Zidanes had all the right moves and handed the Zoffs a crushing home defeat. A clean sheet from @speedyboyz, and H2H strikes from Matthew Whitman and Sai Gupta set the tone, which continued into the Squad match where @LouisMi96249582 (73 pts) was top scorer for the Zidanes. The Zoffs left their top scorer, @fantasypoddenpl (79), on the bench.
FLOWERS 4-3 CASH BANDICOOT
The Flowers bloomed, and did everyone a favour by nipping the progress of the league-leading Bandicoots in the bud. All the strikers delivered; however, a brace from @SondreThygesen (71 pts) put the Bandicoots in profit; but they had no answer to the Florists’ growth spurt in the Squad match. The Bandicoots retain top spot, but now have four teams just one point adrift.
WINNING MENTALITY WANDERERS 0-3 SWEET 2FA
Winning Mentality Wanderers were left wondering where their winning mentality went after being left with sweet FA by Sweet 2FA. The portents were evident in the H2Hs with @fpltrader (80 pts) driving a hard bargain in goal, and @FPL_PointBreak storming through for a brace; and the treats continued in the Squad match where @fpljim1 (74) was the chief smartie. The Wanderers also left their top performer, @fpldeadlyledley (75) on the bench; but maybe they can take comfort from knowing that they are top of the league in the Upside-Down World. Stranger things have happened.
KEANE 16 6-0 IT’S A WONDERFUL CRUYFF
The Cruyffs fell off their perch following a disastrous trip to a Keane 16 team that had way too much bite. The feasting started in the H2Hs, led by a brace from Sibasis Pal Chowdrey (74 pts), and continued in the Squad match. @Oufa78 (77) was the only bright spark for the Cruyffs.
MARADONA KEBABS 2-4 THE HEROES
The Kebabs made a bright start in the H2Hs, with @FPLDanDave and @FPL_Tactician providing the early kryptonite; but were skewered by a super performance from the Heroes in the Squad match. No-one could stand up to the power unleashed by @ivlevyorke (85 pts).
FLYING DUTCHMEN 1-2 MARITIM +62
The Flying Dutchmen were all at sea after being becalmed by Maritim +62. The future looked orange following @FPL_Buller’s H2H strike, but @ViraFPL equalised and the Maritims prevailed in the Squad match squall. They now join Sweet 2FA at the summit.
NO KOEMAN NO CRY 0-8 GARUDA CHEERS UP MASVANSA 2022
The Garudas unleashed their inner Newcastle to leave No Koeman reaching for the industrial strength hankies. It was cheers all round for the visitors, with the chief protagonists being @geoffreytahir, who kept No Koeman out; @IgnatiusBryanL1, who struck a brace; and @ariefekoj (75 pts) who led the way in the Squad match.
GENTLEMAN’S GREALISH 3-0 SHELBY COMPANY LIMITED
It was a coiffured performance by Gentleman’s Grealish, who exchanged clean sheets with the Shelbys in the H2Hs, and then turned on the style in the Squad match. @fplnoblegent (88 pts) set the tone, and was ably supported by @thesmiths 1986 (74), and @fpl_boyle (72). @WallyChomp (75) was the pick of the Shelbys.
A PLANET WITH NO STARS 1-4 THE GALACTICOS
The Galacticos finally found a Planet they could cope with, and beamed home with a comfortable victory. The No Stars put up a good fight, and even emerged from the H2Hs with a lead thanks to a clean sheet from @angus81 (75 pts), and a goal from @danlukeashby (71); but the lack of resources told in the Squad match, where the Galacticos ran the table.
FRED RICE EATER 0-2 THE GENERALISTS
After several false starts, the Generalists finally got their guns pointing in the right direction, and took it out on the Freds. @FPL_Zlatan (71) got the Top Brass going in the H2Hs, and the Regiment stayed in step long enough to double the score in the Squad match. It’s still quite a yomp to get to the summit, but no need to get the squad in for extra training this week.
LETS’ GET READY TO CRUMBLE 3-0 UNBELIEVABLE GEOFF
There were no soggy bottoms in this fixture as the Crumblers rose to the challenge against the Unbelievables. @KratosFpl kept it clean in goal; @FFBobby was the star baker in the H2Hs; and the Squad match provided an extra slice. Hollywood handshakes all round.
RUUD BULLET 0-5 THE NONCHALANT TWENTY2
It was a rude awakening for Ruud Bullet as the Nonchalants went nap to obliterate their 100% record. It was a no fuss performance by the Nonchalants, who disarmed the Ruuds in the H2Hs before running up the score in the Squad match. Watch out League.
INTEGRITY IS BUEMO 1-3 THE DEADLY DEADLINERS
It was a tough week for the Buemos, who had the integrity of their goal breached three times in the H2Hs, including a brace from @ZhouFPL, and were barely able to muster a response in the Squad match. @Teh TarikFPL (72 pts) was the deadliest of the Deadly Deadliners.
THE NATION OF DOMINATION – BYE
The bid for global domination will be resumed after the international break.
MANAGER OF THE WEEK
FPL Managers who backed the right horse were well rewarded this week. @fpltrader impressed with 80 points, and @ragavthetwist’s 83-point haul was instrumental in his team’s victory. @ivlevyorke (85 pts) was also heroic in a winning cause, but this week’s top honours go to the peerless @fplnoblegent with 88 points. Well done all.
It’s still early days in the battle for individual honours, but @FPL_TT, @FPL_PointBreak, @sertalpbilal and @FPL_PEP_TALK currently lead the golden boot race on four goals; and @SUPERHOOPS is the top keeper with three clean sheets. The Squad player doing most to catch his captain’s eye for H2H selection is @yxguden, (Ruud Bullet), who averages 66 points in his five Squad appearances; and the bench player most worthy of a second look is @Maxiarsenal, (Maradona Kebabs), who averages 63 points across four benchings.
The managers bidding for Hall of Shame glory are Gaurav Gharge and @FPLMaSalah who with three blanks from four appearances, are the strikers who would benefit from a period in Finishing School. The custodian most in need of a trip to Specsavers is @robvmangunsong who has conceded five goals in two appearances between the sticks. Hang in there.
MATCHDAY 6 FIXTURES
Here’s what we have to look forward to on Matchday 6.
That’s all for now. I’m off to spend some time thinking about our friends, colleagues, and possibly teammates who have far more important things to worry about than their FPL squads, and don’t share the safety and security that many of us take for granted. Stay safe.